Goodbye “FFEJ”

I can’t say how many years ago it was that I started doing this, but I found saying people’s names backwards rather entertaining. When I worked at Ponderosa Steak House in Englewood, I used to get ready for work and in the mirror, my name tag read: “ASOREDNOP” (a-so-red-nop as I said it). I guess that is where I started the fun in saying names backwards.

I was thinking about that today as my cousin Jeff Starnes passed away this past Saturday. He was one month older than I was, both of us 41. He was one of the first relatives I did the reverse name to, because “FFEJ” just rolled off the tongue!

It seemed like we used to see each other frequently up through middle school, but as we headed different directions, we saw less and less of one another. Still, every time I’d run in to him, he’d say “hey reegor” and I’d say “ffej”! Just thinking about that makes me smile now.

During Jeff’s funeral, his smile and his laughter were frequent topics as was his coaching 3 different teams of youth sports — at the SAME TIME! On top of that, he had a new job, a family of 6, and was very active in a band (or 2).

The more folks I spoke to at the viewing last night, and the funeral today, the more I wished I had been able to catch up with my cousin and he with my family. But life is not an easy ship to sail, and often the oceans between us were long.

I dealt with the events today pretty well, until they said ‘this concludes the services’ in Englewood today. Then a couple folks touched his coffin for their last chance to say goodbye, and that was it. I was breaking up, and needed to.

While we weren’t the closest of cousins, nor did we hang out all the time, we were always glad to spend time with one another. We both liked what is now “classic rock”, we like our hair longer than our parents did then, we liked cars and girls. We shared a grandma, and a last name, and I was glad to know him.

As kids can do, we would get into trouble from time to time. One year at a car show, we thought chrome valve caps on cars would make some cool collectors items until we heard on the speaker that someone reported them missing.

My visit to Kentucky to see some of Jeff’s other family was my first experience with electric fences. I think Todd dared one or both of us to pee on the fence. I’ve either forgotten the results, or it was shocked out of my mind!

Then the most (in)famous event was the time we were at Granny’s and tried to make an old construction trailer into a fort. It was cold, either a Thanksgiving or New Years, and we decided to pry the window open to get inside. I think we were 9 then. As it would happen there were some burglaries in the area and one of the local residents across the street either thought we were the burglars, or they wanted to teach us a lesson. All I know is that Jeff helped me into the trailer, and I heard him say “Rog, get out”. I looked and there must have been 6 sheriffs with shotguns drawn on me with multiple cruiser lights flashing. I guess you could say we freaked out! They hauled us down the road and tried (and succeeded) in scaring the living daylights out of us. I think we cried all the way to the station. Needless to say, that was the end of fort construction.

I do recall after getting back home, and going back outside to catch our breath, my other cousin and brothers came around the corner laughing at us. Ah the ‘good old days’! Crazy kids!!

It was great to see so much of the family the past couple days, but it is not fun under such circumstances. I pray for Jess, Gabe, Dylan, Mason, Ella, uncle Dave, aunt Sue, Tammy, Shelly, Todd and all his family and friends.

I’ll miss ya FFEJ!

Your cousin, REGOR